Strange people

The reading lady Last week, when I went to mass, I managed to sit across a woman in the jeep who was intently reading a book. She was completely out of touch with what's happening around her, focused mainly on a paperback in her hand. I bet she was reading a love story because she had that kind of expression on her face -- you know, that kind of half-smile, partly hopeful, partly hurting, and that embarassed, dreamy faraway look that you acquire when the helpless virginal heroine is shamed at having the patronizing handsome hero discover that she loves him, and is struggling hard to explain herself without sounding too pathetic... Anyway, as I said, this woman is totally oblivious to her surroundings. Her bag and paper bag were placed haphazardly on her side, almost spilling off their contents on the floor. The woman was wearing a calf-length skirt and was sitting with her legs apart, as if she she paid a fare of P21, instead of P7. Each time the jeepney braked, she'd move her leg and knee forward to balance herself but never once looked up from her book. What's funny was her expression changed about three or four times, getting more revealing each time. That must have been a really interesting love story; she was probably on the sex part. Whatever. By the time I alighted at the corner leading to St. Andrew, the woman had turned the page maybe twice. There was no traffic so it was a quick trip, and it was a quick read. But she was soooo into it. Those who are first will be last I sat at the second to the last pew in church. The mass has already started when I arrived. When we came to the homily part, a few minutes into the homily, a mother and son hurriedly entered the church and stood by the aisle of my pew, looking for a seat. The mother then glanced back, apparently signalling to her husband to follow, and pulled her son forward, walking bravely through the aisle amidst the sitting churchgoers. I immediately realized they were aiming for the very front pew, and I also noticed at the same time that the pew they were targeting was completely empty while the other pews behind it were fully packed. The mother and son reached the pew, stopped, stared, turned around and walked briskly down the aisle back to where they stood earlier. I knew it! I think there was a "reserved" sign on the seat, explaining why the pew is totally empty. A few minutes later, a very proud looking peacock in red spaghetti-strapped backless blouse and heavy mane of brown dyed hair strutted down the aisle towards the same pew, head held very high. A woman, who seems to be her mother, followed the teenager. They, too, stopped, stared and turned around. This time, the peacock walked rapidly down the aisle with head bowed down. More like an ostrich ready to bury its head. A third group--a whole family--reached the pew after offertory and did the same turn-around move. (They're very late and they still want to stay in front! Tsk tsk. Lord, forgive me.) By this time, the church staff probably noticed that people going front were being prevented from sitting by something in the pew. I didn't know at the time but during communion, I noticed that the front pew was already full. Unfortunately, the mother-and-son, the strutting peacock in red, and the large family were not among them. Strange how these first three groups of people never noticed the unusual emptiness of the pew, and strange how it took a while for the church staff to notice there was something wrong. And I noticed them all. Made me ask myself later if I was paying attention to the mass or not. Almost burned I decided to pass by McDonald's in the corner of Reposo and JP Rizal streets after mass to buy chicken nuggets for Marthe. She was craving for it and had mentioned it several times during the day. It took some time to be ready so it was relatively quiet when I finally alighted at Zapote St. I'm still not allowed to take the tricycle so I walked. On my side of the street, I passed by several cars of jeepneys that were parked on the sidewalk: a common sight. As I was walking past Marthe's school, I looked up at the sign of the preschool and reread the text that I've read several times in the past months: announcement about the registration and others. An empty jeepney was parked close to it, to my left. I was walking past the jeep, mind preoccupied, when a hand suddenly shot out of the jeep window, almost into my face. The hand shook the excess ash from the tip of the cigarette it was holding. I jumped sideways to the right. I looked at the jeep but saw only the arm. Apparently, there was somebody lying down in the jeep bench and he shot his hand out to shake the cigarette ash without even considering that somebody might be walking past at this hour. Somebody like me. If that hand had hit my face and burned my cheeks with that ash, I would have twisted it back to its owner and ram it into his mouth before he'd ever know what hit him. Sometimes, I wonder how God survives every moment of being God. I wonder how he can look at, listen to and empathize with these strange people who can get into your nerves if you're caught off guard. I guess that's why He is God. And I'm just human.

Blue hospital gowns and a hunk in maroon

This happened on August 20, 2007. I woke up yesterday with this strange dream hanging over my consciousness. I know there was a problem but I could not point my finger on what it was. I was in a place away from home, in the company of officemates and friends. I didn't even see any of my friends in the entire dream, but there was one person who stood out very vividly -- and I have no idea who he is. All I remember was that he was lean, muscled in the proper places, has moderately dark complexion, slightly long hair and a face that I'd like to bring to mind every so often. His being a stranger to me in real life did not disturb me as much as the wonderful feeling of having my arms wrapped around his torso and his over my shoulders. It was a comforting, very reassuring circumstance. In my dream, I wanted this man. And when I awoke from the weird dream in which he figured into, I wanted to meet him in the flesh, if he, indeed, exists. But I'm jumping ahead of my story. The focus of my strange dream was not him. It was a hospital that appears to have been built behind or above a posh restaurant inside a grand hotel. How it came to be, I have no idea, but there it was, with an entrance door right at the top of a glittering staircase that opens to the restaurant. The dream starts with my awareness that I was with friends, having some kind of teambuilding away from home. I was troubled and I went out for a walk in the late afternoon (I think, judging from the lighting of the scene). All of a sudden, this hunk of a man in maroon shirt approached me and seemed to ask me what the problem was. He was a bit "chinito" and kind of boyish in features, but I know he was not so young. In the dream, it appeared that we were close to each other and could tell each other anything. I talked about whatever it was that bothered me and he comforted me with kind words. Then he gestured for us to go somewhere far from the group, where we can walk and talk some more. He placed his arms over my shoulders and pulled me closer to him as we walked. And I naturally wrapped my arms around his waist. It was so natural that I didn't think twice or feel embarassed at all. We walked and walked and talked and talked, but I couldn't hear what we were discussing and there was no topic that popped up in my mind while the dream was going on. Then we came upon a building and I noticed that we were already walking over wooden floors. There was a doorway to the right leading to a hall, and the door was open so I could see the corridor. I then said to him, "Hey, this was my old dormitory. This is my college, this was where I studied and stayed for four years." But the place didn't look anything like my college dorm; not even my college. Still, it was the first time I heard me talk about something definite in my dream. He wanted us to go through the doorway but I gestured for him to be quiet and to just proceed with me to a staircase in front of us. I seemed to have warned him that it was late and people might be preparing for dinner or something. We climbed the stairs, still close to each other, and the scene changed. We were climbing up a set of very elegant steps made of gold and black-and-brown marble, about three flights. At the top of the stairs was a receiving podium standing to the right of a carpeted floor. To the left was a glass door with translucent print but I can sense that behind it was more elegance. I remember looking through the glass and seeing several round tables neatly dressed in delicate beige cloth, with flower arrangements on the center of each. Beyond the tables was a lobby. That gave me the first impression that I was standing behind a hotel and restaurant. It was around this time that I noticed that the character of the hunk-in-maroon disappeared from my dream sequence and that I proceeded on my own without surprise or perplexity. It was as if his sudden disappearance from my side was as natural as the air I breathed. I walked beyond the podium and proceeded to another flight of shiny, glittering stairs that was much higher than the first three. At the top of it was a metal door. I pushed the door and found myself inside what looked to me like a hospital. The only thing I vaguely remember now is that I wandered around the halls and hospital rooms for some time, looking for something (or someone) that was unidentified in my dream. The next scene startled me. I woke up lying on a hospital bed, wearing a blue patient’s gown (Blue gowns are worn by medical interns; patient’s usually have white gowns. But in my dream, the patient’s gown was blue). I was inside what looks like a laboratory that’s being used as a storage room, because there were boxes of supplies around, some old hospital equipment and some wall-mounted shelves. When I looked down towards my feet, I saw a janitor at the end of the room mopping the floor, his back to me. He was finishing up and was moving towards the light switch, and I sat up and called to him, “Manong, manong!” He couldn’t hear me at first, but I jumped down from the hospital bed and felt around for my slippers, calling louder to him this time. “Manong, sandali, andito pa ako! Wag mo akong iwan!” He whirled around, seeing me, and was a little bit surprised – judging from his expression. But he didn’t say a word and waited for me, standing by the light switch. I finally fit my feet on a pair of slippers under the bed, which I can’t recall how it looks, and walked rapidly towards the door. I thanked him and went out ahead. I walked on and on, getting frantic about how I’d get out of the hospital. I have a vague feeling that it was late and dark outside and that I have to move on. I also had this feeling that no one should see me. I ran through short corridors and several rooms that looked just like the one I left until I saw a flight of stairs. I went up and up, about three to four flights. As I came near the top of the last one, I heard someone sobbing. When I reached the top, there was a hospital bed just beside the staircase with a dead body lying on it. I didn’t stare at the body, but in my dream I knew it was dead, it was a very old woman, and it was lying uncovered, dressed in something printed, its feet visible in the periphery of my sight. My senses, however, were not focused on the body but on the sobbing. I was frozen for many seconds from the awareness of a dead body, and the realization that the crying was coming from somewhere else. My left foot was on the top step and my right foot was in the second to the top step. My left hand was holding the rail near the dead body’s bed. Several feet beyond the dead woman’s bed, invisible at first, was a woman lying face down on the floor. When she started crying again, her body began crawling across the floor towards the bed and towards me. She never looked up, her face—and her whole body it seemed—was still flat on the floor, but she was moving towards me! All my popped-out eyes could see was a long white dress and blue patient’s gown with unkempt wavy hair moving across the floor in my direction. And then I noticed the pool of blood under the moving body, being wiped by her moving dress and hair as she moved. Waahhh!!! That snapped me out of my dream, and I woke up sweating, crying and very frightened.