Nanay, Ate Eden and the Amazing Facebook

Last Sunday, we were set to go to my uncle’s home in Pacita, San Pedro, Laguna for my cousin’s birthday and the blessing of their newly renovated house. What would have been an entirely happy affair, however, was tainted by the death of my aunt’s 93-year-old mother who had been living with them for years.

According to my Tita Liz, “Nanay” – as we call her – had this mischievous habit of playing dead whenever the maid enters her own bungalow at the back of Tito Nonoy’s house. She’d do her utmost best not to move or react to questions, until the maid mentions her favorite dish or the name of one of her daughters. Then, she would open her eyes and cock her head to one side and ask about the topic that caught her attention. This had been going on for months.

Early Sunday morning, when my Tita went in to rouse her for breakfast, she appeared sleeping. Thinking she was playing dead again, Tita teased her and shook her several times but she remained still and unmoving. Despite faint signs of life, Tita thought there was something wrong. So they rushed her to the hospital. Unfortunately, she was pronounced dead on arrival.

My father and my cousin were left at home to entertain the priest and guests, and to supervise the maids. When we arrived after lunch, my Tito and Tita were still in the hospital overseeing arrangements for embalming, wake and funeral. They arrived early afternoon, and my parents decided to stay there several days more to help out.

Aside from my cousins in Laguna, Nanay had two other grandchildren, the son and daughter of Tita Liz’s sister who had died long ago. But they had both moved out of their former home, went their separate ways, and cut all communication with Tita Liz and her brother, who were their only closest relatives.

At one time, the granddaughter had stayed with us together with an adopted little brother, but Ate Eden turned out to be a very dependent person (or a user, if I may say so). She would stay in the office until late, without arranging for anybody to fetch her brother Kevin in preschool, and not caring whether my mother had sufficient funds to feed two extra people. When she ended up not surfacing at the preschool at the appointed time several times, and the brother was left all by himself, the teacher began to take it upon herself to bring Kevin home to our apartment in UP. [The preschool was near Hardin ng Bougainvillea, where Mama kept an apartment for us as students.] Nakakahiya sa teacher.  

She started going home much, much later and wouldn’t leave money to help Mama with the food supplies at home. What irritates us is that she says she doesn’t have a large salary that can tide both of them through so she’s appealing to us for support. But we’d see her newly bought Vogue, Mega and Cosmo magazines all over the house. She says she does overtime always because of the workload and also because she needs the extra income, but I’d catch her in the IRC chatrooms during the hours she was supposed to be doing “overtime”. It’s like she just looked for somebody to dump her responsibilities on and found us. And went on with her own life like she’s the most carefree single lass in the world.

One day, Mama decided enough is enough. Even if we cared for Kevin and were concerned about what would happen to him, Mama talked to Ate Eden and told her that if she cannot do her part as a transient guest, then she has to leave. We weren’t rich and we don’t have excess money to give. We tried to help out of the goodness of our heart but we can’t keep on doing it as we also have our own financial concerns. So she left and we haven’t heard from her since.

Last Sunday, I was tasked to search for her and her real brother, Kuya Erwin. Where on earth will I look? I know she was once connected with Delifrance, and Mama heard recently that she’s working in People Support. Now, how will I hack the employee databases of these two companies? Haha, just kidding.

For lack of anywhere else to go, I went straight to Facebook. And sure enough, she and Kuya Erwin have FB accounts. Amazing facebook. Why didn’t we think of that before? Perhaps even criminals have FB accounts. The NBI should start exploring it…. Ate Eden is the type who wouldn’t survive without social networking activities. Aside from FB, she has multiply, twitter and flickr accounts as well. I sent her and Kuya Erwin a message that Nanay died and would be interred on Tuesday or Wednesday but they did not reply to me.

Nanay was laid to rest on Wednesday at the Mandaluyong cemetery, beside other members of her family who went ahead of her. Up until today, I haven’t heard from her long-lost grandchildren. I just hope that one day they don’t die alone in some forgettable, filthy place on earth with no relatives or friends around. And I hope they come to terms with themselves when ebb tide kicks in.